Individual and Family Counseling

Why specialize in teenagers?

The teenage years, from 13 to 19, can be  a truly tumultuous time for many families. As parents, we go from having control over everything that we believe our child needs to be safe, to one day, realizing that our child has grown into a distant, skeptical, defiant, willful person with ideas and opinions of their own. It can be a difficult transition for even the most loving families. The adolescent’s developmental imperative to distance themselves from their family involves rejecting many of the family rules and ideals, discovering their own values, and ultimately combining the ones from the family into their worldview going forward as young adults. Communication during this time can be especially challenging, but it is also a crucial time in helping the adolescent find their way.

We have a combined 50+ years of communicating effectively with adolescents and their families. It often takes a trained outsider’s perspective to look at inefficient, potentially harmful family communication styles. So often, both parents and their teenagers want the same thing - to be happy, validated, recognized, loved and supported - but they have tremendous difficulty seeing past the day to day stressors that lead to contentious relationships, acting out, substance abuse, mental health issues, self-harm, and school and/or social problems.

 Why specialize in young adults? 

We know more now regarding brain development and that a person’s brain does not fully mature until age 25. In addition, those with substance use, mental health, or behavioral issues can have stunted development and take even longer for their brain to fully mature. Executive functioning, knowing right from wrong, and developing a conscience are all critical skills for success in the world. But these do not develop automatically and need to be taught.

The true meaning of independence and freedom do not come until a young person can support themselves - financially, physically and emotionally - make choices that may be good or bad, but which are their choices and the consequences of which, they must also handle on their own. We can help your family work together toward an understanding of the expectations and efforts needed toward a healthy independence. 

Why family work?

Respect, trust and responsibility do not just show up as we age. We tell our kids respect is earned  but adults often just demand it.  Respecting our elders is an age-old concept but respecting our teens can be bewildering. 

We believe that the key part to assisting and helping your teen or young adult to independence is understanding and practicing how to communicate, make effective rules, listen to each other and be consistent. Whether you are beginning with a 4-6 session Family Coaching on Communication or if your teen or young adult needs more therapy, we can assess the needs and start wherever your family is now.

Regardless of age we need to make sure we are our children's teachers. The internet, phone, online gaming and social media are not giving them the tools for growth. It is our job as parents to give our children the tools to make good decisions as adults, as well as to know when they made a mistake and how to take responsibility. We teach communication skills such as learning to listen and be heard, to help your family move towards a better understanding of one another.